Cynicism in My Back Pocket

She’s been a spiritual touchstone for me and we met recently for coffee.

I described my daily practice to “stay emotionally balanced” but admitted to being cynical about “the big picture”. Humans have been failing at peace since we could stand upright, I said, and all our technology has only made peace harder to find.

I told her that my NVC practice helps me stay emotionally balanced, and that I find hope in the work I’m doing locally. Volunteering as a teacher of NVC, or facilitating Braver Angels conversations between political opponents, brings me hope because I have tangible evidence of healing relationships and starting friendships with people way different than me. I have found peaceful resolution at home and in my small world.

But, I continued, I don’t have any faith that humanity will collectively find peace and social justice. “As a species, we act largely the same as a virus. We consume all available resources and then die off when the food is gone. How is any of that an expression of God?” I asked.

Without denying that part of “nature”, where we consume other life forms as fuel for our next breath, where genocide is justified and ecosystems ignored – my friend pointed to another vast layer of life, one that we gain glimpses of only in near death experiences and profound awakened states .

“We have only limited ability at seeing the full dimension of life,” she said.
“Using a microscope or a telescope, we’re able to see life in greater detail, but we’re still limited by the dimensions we live in. Only a few get to view through this thin membrane we call reality and experience the love that motivates all we can see and all we cannot,” she said. “I believe we all have a spark of that love within us, forever.”

If NVC can help me with issues of conflict in this dimension, I asked myself, can it help me with cynicism too?

What if I could view the whole of humanity with the same compassion I use with my neighbor whose teen children are making life miserable for themselves and us?

What if I could view God’s purpose and motivation with curiosity instead of skepticism?

What if, after expressing my fear and doubt, and after expressing my unmet needs of ease, peace and understanding, I make a request of myself, instead of God? That I leave open my door to understanding. That I develop a strategy to meet my need for understanding?

Being a cynic supposes that I know something for sure. What if I start by admitting my ignorance and find a place for awe instead of “Aw, damn it!”?