Willamette Valley NVC

Category: Community

  • With Our Light Under a Bushel

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    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    I asked a local friend to join me as a member of the Salem Braver Angels steering committee. “No” is a common answer and I was prepared for that. She said “no.” I appreciated that she took the time to explain why, and her story stimulated a sadness in me. She said the reason she…

  • Can We Really Achieve The NVC Ideal?

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    Mathew Hudson
    in

    At the beginning of the NVC book, Marshall Rosenberg paints a vision of a world where humanity is reconnected to its compassionate nature instead of its competitive one, and we live in the freedom of giving from the heart rather than giving (or withholding) out of coercion. But do you share my doubt that this…

  • Awareness: Upstream from Empathy

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    I agreed to help my wife make a complicated dessert – a French apple cake they call Gateau Aux Pommes! Oo la la! Part of the “invisible” part of the cake depends on very thinly sliced fruit. The ideal kitchen tool, a fancy mandoline, is not resident in our less than oo la la kitchen.…

  • Full Circles Begin with One Turn at a Time

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Awake in the night last week, I felt numbness in my heart. For some days, the numbness prevailed. The enormity of issues facing humanity became more than I could emotionally handle. At those times, I “turn away” rather than face it, shoulder it. Helplessness creeps in and I become paralyzed. Today’s newsletter from the Salem…

  • To the Victor….

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    There is a saying, “To the victor go the spoils,” which speaks to the endless war we wage against each other. The word “spoils” often refers to the mountain of riches that conquerors acquire. Perhaps intentionally, the word “spoils” can also signify what gets destroyed in war, the square miles of blasted landscape and heaps…

  • Is NVC Totally Nonviolent?

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. That part of Rumi’s famous Persian poem is cited frequently because it points to a central value of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) practice – nonjudgment and equality. If we resist the temptation to blame, we can then see others as equals,…

  • Emotional Needs

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    Molly M
    in

    NVC invites us to delineate between needs and strategies. A need is something intrinsic to our self-state whereas a strategy is a position we take in order to gratify our needs. We have physical needs and emotional needs. We drink water to meet the need of thirst. But why do we call a friend? Often…

  • What is Inherently Violent about our Communication?

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Marshall Rosenberg purposefully used the word nonviolent in the title of his book and in all his presentations. Practitioners of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) sometime bristle at the use of “nonviolent”, preferring instead the word “compassionate.” So, let’s look at why Rosenberg might have chosen that word: Rosenberg was not only a student of the pioneering…

  • A Significant Piece of Mind

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    I knew the guy was gonna take a swing, and I had prepared for it…which is the whole point of this post. Prepare, meaning practice. He was the field director for US Senate candidate Mike Erickson, a Republican and MAGA devotee. It was a few weeks before the 2024 national election. He followed me outside…

  • Holding Two Needs & Nourishing the One You Feed

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    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Reflecting on the terror and trauma at loose in the world, the impact of that suffering visited me this morning. Sadness, anger, helplessness, some guilt, and deep resentment became a lump the size of a grapefruit in my chest. My need for the basics – safe shelter, healthy food and water – are met for…