Awake in the night last week, I felt numbness in my heart. For some days, the numbness prevailed. The enormity of issues facing humanity became more than I could emotionally handle. At those times, I “turn away” rather than face it, shoulder it. Helplessness creeps in and I become paralyzed.
Today’s newsletter from the Salem Leadership Foundation reminded me that fixing local and global problems begins with one contribution from me. It manifests as change when many of us add our own contribution, understanding that it is the composite of our many individual talents and ideas that creates solutions. My small arc of influence helps build a circle.
On Saturday, September 6th, I will join with others who have decided not to turn away. John Marshall, one of our teammates here at Willamette Valley Nonviolent Communication, will introduce the philosophy and particular skills that help build confidence about our conflicts. That one step, having the intention to make peace inside us, and mend fences with one another, is a “turning towards”, not a turning away. Turning towards drives hopelessness to the curb.
Some forces at play need us to turn away to get their way. Turning away takes our power. Turning away lets them win. When they win, the hungry, sick and marginalized lose. When we turn away, the march to war is shorter. When we turn away, the trash heap we have created in our environment grows taller and more dangerous. I’m angry and resentful because my wish for equality and health are not being met when I, and others, turn away.
NVC asks those who want to “turn towards” to look both inward and outside of ourselves, to become a bit more aware how our thinking and our words are creating conflicts. It also asks us to look at others with a bit more understanding; they are struggling just as we are. Withholding judgment of them and listening more fully with compassion helps to rebuild the circle.
The band Pink Floyd was – and still is – a favorite of mine. David Gilmore co-wrote a song in the 1980s that popped into my head today as I thought of the concept of turning away. Check it out.
The final stanza from this timeless song offers more of an invitation than a rebuke:
No more turning away from the weak and the weary.
No more turning away from the coldness inside.
Just a world that we all must share,
It’s not enough just to stand and stare.
Is it only a dream that there’ll be no more turning away?
Join us on September 6th, from 8:30 to 12:30. Join others who say we will no longer turn away. Register here and start building your circle today.
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