Willamette Valley NVC

Author: Mathew Hudson

  • When We Feel the Need for a Free Day

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    Mathew Hudson
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    I was listening to a retired friend describe some frustration and sadness he was experiencing over several requests for his time and attention, which came from friends, family, and volunteering commitments. He admitted he has a hard time saying “no,” since he is retired and felt he should be more open to helping, yet he…

  • Listening To People Unlike Ourselves

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    Mathew Hudson
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    Some of us at WVNVC have been participating in Braver Angels Oregon events. We see that NVC’s mission and skill set complement the type of friendly conversations that Braver Angels sets up between people who might not appear to be on the same side of any given social or political issue. At the end of…

  • Should We Be Concerned About Toxic Empathy?

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    Mathew Hudson
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    My Concerns In the last couple of years, it appears that an apprehension about “toxic empathy” has blossomed, raising my concern that one problematic form of empathy is being over-scrutinized without clear differentiation, possibly causing a vital form of empathy to be condemned along with possibly problematic form. The discussions seem to stem from a…

  • Empathy or Sympathy?

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    Mathew Hudson
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    One phrase we often loathe to receive, yet may find ourselves resorting to when comforting a friend, is, “I know exactly how you feel.” While we share the same fundamental human needs and understand the joy or suffering that results when those are met or unmet, each person’s context and personal experience remain completely unique.…

  • A Self-Prescription for Positive News

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    Mathew Hudson
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    Nearly every morning, before I get too busy, my habit is to scan the headlines of various news sources to get a feel for what’s happening in the world. I trace this urge back to around 8:30 am Monday morning, September 11, 2001, when a phone call from a colleague told me to go look…

  • Can We Really Achieve The NVC Ideal?

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    Mathew Hudson
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    At the beginning of the NVC book, Marshall Rosenberg paints a vision of a world where humanity is reconnected to its compassionate nature instead of its competitive one, and we live in the freedom of giving from the heart rather than giving (or withholding) out of coercion. But do you share my doubt that this…

  • Can We Become Unoffendable?

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    Mathew Hudson
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    I have this character goal to be a person that can’t be offended, like I imagine Jesus or the Dalai Lama to be. But how much can I really control such a reaction to a person’s strange or unpleasant behavior? Being offended has something to do with perceiving a threat to our values, beliefs, or…

  • Is Play-Teasing Useful?

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    Mathew Hudson
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    In our recent practice group, an intriguing little discussion/debate arose about joking or teasing comments when one person makes a disparaging comment about another in what was intended to be playful humor. How are such teasing comments meeting a need or violating a need? Would the NVC perspective take a stance against these? Though we…