Willamette Valley NVC

Category: Community

  • Full Circles Begin with One Turn at a Time

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Awake in the night last week, I felt numbness in my heart. For some days, the numbness prevailed. The enormity of issues facing humanity became more than I could emotionally handle. At those times, I “turn away” rather than face it, shoulder it. Helplessness creeps in and I become paralyzed. Today’s newsletter from the Salem…

  • To the Victor….

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    There is a saying, “To the victor go the spoils,” which speaks to the endless war we wage against each other. The word “spoils” often refers to the mountain of riches that conquerors acquire. Perhaps intentionally, the word “spoils” can also signify what gets destroyed in war, the square miles of blasted landscape and heaps…

  • Is NVC Totally Nonviolent?

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. That part of Rumi’s famous Persian poem is cited frequently because it points to a central value of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) practice – nonjudgment and equality. If we resist the temptation to blame, we can then see others as equals,…

  • Requests and the Agency of Choice: Saying No in NVC

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Requests are frequently a challenging aspect of Nonviolent Communication to integrate into our daily behavior. Why?  Lots of us have a built-in pattern of thinking around “have to” thinking, like “I have to go to school (work)”, or “I have to obey my parent’s (employer’s) wishes.” In that world, personal choice is often neglected. (Think…

  • Emotional Needs

    —

    by

    Molly McCarty
    in

    NVC invites us to delineate between needs and strategies. A need is something intrinsic to our self-state whereas a strategy is a position we take in order to gratify our needs. We have physical needs and emotional needs. We drink water to meet the need of thirst. But why do we call a friend? Often…

  • What is Inherently Violent about our Communication?

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Marshall Rosenberg purposefully used the word nonviolent in the title of his book and in all his presentations. Practitioners of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) sometime bristle at the use of “nonviolent”, preferring instead the word “compassionate.” So, let’s look at why Rosenberg might have chosen that word: Rosenberg was not only a student of the pioneering…

  • A Significant Piece of Mind

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    I knew the guy was gonna take a swing, and I had prepared for it…which is the whole point of this post. Prepare, meaning practice. He was the field director for US Senate candidate Mike Erickson, a Republican and MAGA devotee. It was a few weeks before the 2024 national election. He followed me outside…

  • Holding Two Needs & Nourishing the One You Feed

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    Reflecting on the terror and trauma at loose in the world, the impact of that suffering visited me this morning. Sadness, anger, helplessness, some guilt, and deep resentment became a lump the size of a grapefruit in my chest. My need for the basics – safe shelter, healthy food and water – are met for…

  • What is an NVC Intensive Training Like?

    —

    by

    Admin WVNVC
    in

    From the producers of the video: “We are celebrating the release of a 19-minute film of a recent Nonviolent Communication Intensive Training in Romania that provides a glimpse into what it’s like to participate in one of our 9-day immersive trainings. Our goal in creating this film was to capture a “felt-sense” of an IIT…

  • New Year, Same Resolve

    —

    by

    Tim Buckley
    in

    There is a squeaky door in my character. I’ve been oiling it with various lubricants for decades, and some days it seems that nothing has changed. Here’s the rub. When I’m in the right mood, when I’m feeling most charitable, kind or loving, the squeak goes away. But I’m not in that place most of…