Willamette Valley NVC

Category: Community

  • A Self-Prescription for Positive News

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    Mathew Hudson
    in

    Nearly every morning, before I get too busy, my habit is to scan the headlines of various news sources to get a feel for what’s happening in the world. I trace this urge back to around 8:30 am Monday morning, September 11, 2001, when a phone call from a colleague told me to go look…

  • With Our Light Under a Bushel

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    I asked a local friend to join me as a member of the Salem Braver Angels steering committee. “No” is a common answer and I was prepared for that. She said “no.” I appreciated that she took the time to explain why, and her story stimulated a sadness in me. She said the reason she…

  • Can We Really Achieve The NVC Ideal?

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    Mathew Hudson
    in

    At the beginning of the NVC book, Marshall Rosenberg paints a vision of a world where humanity is reconnected to its compassionate nature instead of its competitive one, and we live in the freedom of giving from the heart rather than giving (or withholding) out of coercion. But do you share my doubt that this…

  • Awareness: Upstream from Empathy

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    I agreed to help my wife make a complicated dessert – a French apple cake they call Gateau Aux Pommes! Oo la la! Part of the “invisible” part of the cake depends on very thinly sliced fruit. The ideal kitchen tool, a fancy mandoline, is not resident in our less than oo la la kitchen.…

  • Can We Become Unoffendable?

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    Mathew Hudson
    in

    I have this character goal to be a person that can’t be offended, like I imagine Jesus or the Dalai Lama to be. But how much can I really control such a reaction to a person’s strange or unpleasant behavior? Being offended has something to do with perceiving a threat to our values, beliefs, or…

  • Full Circles Begin with One Turn at a Time

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Awake in the night last week, I felt numbness in my heart. For some days, the numbness prevailed. The enormity of issues facing humanity became more than I could emotionally handle. At those times, I “turn away” rather than face it, shoulder it. Helplessness creeps in and I become paralyzed. Today’s newsletter from the Salem…

  • To the Victor….

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    There is a saying, “To the victor go the spoils,” which speaks to the endless war we wage against each other. The word “spoils” often refers to the mountain of riches that conquerors acquire. Perhaps intentionally, the word “spoils” can also signify what gets destroyed in war, the square miles of blasted landscape and heaps…

  • Is NVC Totally Nonviolent?

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. That part of Rumi’s famous Persian poem is cited frequently because it points to a central value of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) practice – nonjudgment and equality. If we resist the temptation to blame, we can then see others as equals,…

  • Requests and the Agency of Choice: Saying No in NVC

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    Tim Buckley
    in

    Requests are frequently a challenging aspect of Nonviolent Communication to integrate into our daily behavior. Why?  Lots of us have a built-in pattern of thinking around “have to” thinking, like “I have to go to school (work)”, or “I have to obey my parent’s (employer’s) wishes.” In that world, personal choice is often neglected. (Think…

  • Emotional Needs

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    Molly McCarty
    in

    NVC invites us to delineate between needs and strategies. A need is something intrinsic to our self-state whereas a strategy is a position we take in order to gratify our needs. We have physical needs and emotional needs. We drink water to meet the need of thirst. But why do we call a friend? Often…